Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
