How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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