Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
