I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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