Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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