I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
