were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
