I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
