you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
