It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Randomize
