I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
