it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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