Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Randomize
