I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
