im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I am naked and annoyed.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Randomize
