I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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