I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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