I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
