The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
