I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
He better not be in your backpack
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
