the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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