guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize