Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
