I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
