You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
