He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
