ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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