I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize