I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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