Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
You can't special order awesome
Swine flu is the new snow day.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
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