wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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