hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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