This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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