Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
40s are totally the cure
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
