We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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