That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
