I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
