The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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