I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize