what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I'm sobbing to NWA
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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