dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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