can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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