Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
