Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
