I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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