No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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