If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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