just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
