Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
