I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
