i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
