What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I understand Curling. That high.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
