New invention idea: vibrating tampons
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
