I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
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