6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Randomize
