There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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