i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
