Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
That was before I lit my hair on fire
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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