I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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