I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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