bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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