I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Ketchup is God's man juice
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
