I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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