SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
