ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
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