Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
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